Monday, January 23, 2017

Why I Couldn't Stop Dancing.

Been a while since I posted. We've been a bit busy over here and I've been a bit demented. Can you blame me?

Anyway, on a much lighter note, I came across something slightly hilarious when sorting through a desk the other day. Here it is.

Yes, that's supposed to me be, but is actually the most Laura Dern-looking "me" I've ever seen.

So here's the story, and since it's about me, it involves the ubiquitous degree of embarrassment. I was at a Millennium party with a group of old friends. Fairly posh do, sitting in a ball room with large round tables. It was midway through the evening, with much dancing going on and (obviously) much wine imbibed.

I had finished my first marathon dancing sprint and was heading back to the table for more wine refreshment, when a cartoonist came up behind me. As a joke (why do I do this?) I flung my arms up and did a little dance. They had started playing "I Will Survive" - I mean how could you not? I would have stayed on the dance floor had I known it was up next. I sincerely wish I had.

So, the guy whips out the paper and charcoal and starts to draw me. Which means that I could hardly just sit down and start chatting to my neighbor could I? Ever the polite Brit, I stayed on my feet, dancing like an idiot, while The Ball & Chain and friends sat quietly chatting and pretending I was a stranger who had merely stopped at the wrong table.

Argh. And that song goes on for ages. Pretty soon people on neighboring tables had noticed, and yes, they were laughing at me not with me. I don't blame them. I'm just glad no one else knew me. I have to say, I was exhausted by the time he presented me with the not-very-good cartoon. All that work and it could have been anybody!

Why does it always happen to me? (Rhetorical question. Don't answer that!)

Happy New Year.

Thursday, January 5, 2017

Why I'm not Putting my Phone Down Any Time Soon

Over at my blog at the Huffington Post, I'm possibly over-sharing as to why I don't resolve to put down my phone in 2017.
You may want to have a read. It could save your life some day!

Monday, December 26, 2016

My 2016 - Not a Bowl of Cherries

Yes, everyone's commenting on how awful 2016 has been - Brexit (if you were a Remainer), Trump (3/4 of the US didn't vote for him and the world stands horrified), the appalling refugee crisis  and all the artists we've lost. Bowie, Prince, Alan Rickman, Leonard Cohen, - a long list - and now George Michael. Whether you liked him or not, those Wham ditties conjure up some pretty great summer memories for people now of a certain age.

And my 2016 wasn't that great either. We're up in the mountains for Christmas, as usual, only this time I'm not skiing. It was this time last year that I took to my bed for three days with the world's worst sinus infection and got up with sciatica! If you haven't had sciatica, you're lucky. It almost makes childbirth palatable. Mine was a shooting pain from my lower back, round the buttock and straight down the back of my right leg. Walking, sitting, standing, lying - all painful. The speed at which this thing progressed was pretty astonishing, and despite various meds prescribed by a Pain Management specialist, (which either made me throw up or unable to function), nothing really alleviated the pain. We even tried an epidural steroid injection which was almost as painful as the sciatica itself, and did bugger all. I bored the pants off everyone blogged about it at the time here.

Apparently the sciatic nerve is the largest nerve in the body.

The sciatica was caused by a herniated disc, which is when the gunk that's supposed to be inside your disc, oozes out. In my case it had oozed out and was sitting on my sciatic nerve so I had surgery in April to clean it all up. Post surgery, I was horrified to realize that the pain, although lessened, never really went away. "Give it time", said my doctor. "The nerve is aggravated by the surgery and it needs time to settle down.". I was never really "better" and had to postpone my annual trip to the UK till the end of the summer so that sitting for 8 hours could even be contemplated.

After the summer I went whining back to my doctor, who suggested an MRI. Another nightmare for me but I managed to remain calm and not make a fool of myself by hyper-ventilating and panicking. When they tell you it's an "Open MRI" its not much better than the tube thing if you're claustrophobic. You're basically lying under a huge sheet of metal that is so close to your face you have to turn to the side. Anyway, to my utter dismay, the MRI showed that the very same disc had herniated on the other side . Are you kidding me? To say I was disappointed it putting it very mildly.

Fortunately, it hasn't progressed quite as quickly as the right side, but we're getting pretty close. I am back to having to sit down to put socks and shoes on, not because I can't touch my toes, but because my back can't take the strain of standing on one foot and bending over at the same time. How's that for making you feel like an octogenarian? As can be seen from the paucity of blog posts recently, my writing has suffered as I can't sit for more than thirty minutes at a time, and I haven't looked into anything like voice recognition typing. (Actually I lie, I managed to send an e-mail from my I-phone by dictation, although my British accent led to a few weird typos.)

So yeah, 2016 was a bit crap not quite up to par, so I'm hoping for better things in 2017. Although with the Orange One in charge of the nuclear arsenal lord alone knows what will happen.

Cheers, m'dears!

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